Focus on the Process

I’ve had my good and bad days. Luckily more good than bad. But am feeling frustrated about the number of bad days.

My Inner Party Girl is on a roll. She’s having a great time and I need to get her back in check. The last few days I’ve been journaling and trying those diaphragmatic breathing techniques. It has helped bring more awareness to the thoughts swirling around in my head.

What I’ve noticed is that I lost sight of the process now that I reached my desired result. It took me almost 14 months to lose 80 lbs. I’m staying in my weight range, but to be honest, I’m getting sloppy and lazy about my 24 hour plans and sticking to them. I’m not eating as clean as I usually do and I can feel the inflammation in my knees. I usually drink between 100-120 ounces of water a day but have been slacking on that too.

So here it is. Sat down and did the breathing exercises. Focused my attention to my Inner Coach and made a game plan on how to move forward. 24 hour plan is made. Working on my first 20 oz glass of water. Getting ready to take my pup out for a walk and then some yoga. Back to the steps and process that helped me achieve my weight loss. How I lost it is how I will keep it off.

This girl is not giving up and she’s not going to go back to her old ways.

What is your process for achieving your goals? What steps are you taking to get you closer?

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. Have a freaking amazing day!

Do You Meal Prep?

Since changing they way I eat, I started meal prepping. We used to plan our meals out for the week, but never did the prepping ahead of time. I would cook almost everyday. Most of the time it went well, but usually something last minute would come up and throw off the schedule. Then we’d be left scrambling and eating either fast food, dining out, or something frozen.

Now on my days off I meal prep for the upcoming week. Last night I spent two hours cooking our meals. That may seem like a long time. But if you think about it, it would have taken me twice as long to make each meal doing one meal each day. The added bonus, only washing one big batch of dishes!

By making this switch, it’s given me the freedom to get more done during the week. There’s no need to worry about what’s for lunch or dinner all week. We’ve eliminated the dreaded “I don’t know, what do you want?” conversations. There’s no decision fatigue, which can lead to eating what’s easing and convenient.

If this is something you’re interested in, I highly recommend it. Start slow by doing easy recipes and trying just prepping two or three meals until you feel comfortable.

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. Have a great day!

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Friday night I was up trying to finish reading my book. I only had 2 chapters to go and I was having trouble concentrating because I was getting tired. You know how it is though when you’re close to the end? It doesn’t matter if you’re tired, you want to finish it.

I was making progress when my Inner Party Girl (IPG) started whining. If you didn’t read my previous blog, I call that voice that wants instant gratification my Inner Party Girl. Anyway, she wanted to have another piece of pizza before we went to bed. “It was so good! One more piece will be ok.”

I did a gut check and knew I wasn’t hungry. I decided that she was whining because I was tired and should go to bed soon. I was trying to ignore her and hear my Inner Coach but it was faint.

The book I was reading Manage Your Day-To-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus and Sharpen Your Creative Mind had a section about diaphragmatic breathing. I thought I’d give it a go and see what happens.

I’m not a doctor. The next two paragraphs of info is what I found on the Googles.

Diaphragmatic breathing is also known as belly breathing, meditative breathing, pranayama, and paced respiration. Quickly, it’s that mindful, focused, deep inspiration you take in and hold for a few seconds before exhaling. The benefits of practicing this type of breathing includes lower heart rate, lower blood pressure, improve core stability muscles, improves sustained attention, lowers cortisol (stress hormone) levels and helps you relax by calming down the sympathetic nervous system. I know, I got scientific on ya. Stick with me.

The cool thing is this: Diaphragmatic breathing calms down the sympathetic nervous system. That’s the system responsible for our fight-or-flight response when we feel stressed. So when you’re pissed off that the kids didn’t clean their rooms or do the dishes, dear hubby didn’t mow or didn’t fix that thing you’ve asked him a million times to fix, or work was just a complete shit show, we can practice this type of breathing to help calm us down.

That’s what I did Friday night. My IPG was being a pain in my ass and I was starting to feel agitated that I couldn’t shut her up. So I sat in my chair and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath in, held it for a few seconds, and exhaled. I repeated this process for about five minutes. Finally I could feel some sense of relaxation come over me. And I was able to focus on my Inner Coach voice guiding me to stay out of the fridge, reminding me that I wasn’t really hungry now, and that the pizza would be there tomorrow if I still wanted it.

By taking those 5 minutes, I was able to relax enough to get my thoughts straight and make the best choice. I finished my book and went to bed without eating anymore pizza.

If you’re not into meditation, I get it. I have a hard time sitting there for 10 minutes trying not to think. But I’ve noticed that since starting to practice yoga everyday, that I’m finding it easier to take a few minutes at the end of my practice and just be present. Give it a try and see whatcha think.

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. Have a flipping fantastic day!

Who’s Driving the Bus?

I’ve been struggling with maintenance this week. I went completely off plan over the weekend and was up 8 lbs. Monday I made my plan and got my ass back on schedule.

The scale has been cooperating. As of today, I’ve dropped 4 lbs. My hunger scale has been off because I ate a ton of carbage and am trying to get back to eating healthy, real foods. My thoughts have been all over the place. “You can do this. Get focused on your Why’s.” “You fucked up, you’ll never be able to keep off the weight.” “You’ve already done so well, worked so hard. You deserve to eat whatever sounds good.”

I’ve separated these three voices and decided to name them. This is supposed to help separate you from the internal chatter your brain throws at you. They are my Inner Coach (IC), Inner Asshole (IA), and Inner Part Girl (IPG).

My Inner Coach is focused on my goals, patiently guiding me toward success. My Inner Asshole is the critical perfectionist that wants everything done correctly. My Inner Party Girl wants to avoid all forms of discomfort and do whatever she perceives as fun now.

Last night at work, someone had brought in fast food and the smell permeated the area. All three of my Inner voices went to battle. My IPG wanted to dive in and join the group, not wanting to be left out. My IA wanted to beat me up for even thinking that the food smelled good and how dare I even entertain the idea of eating more crap. Luckily my IC won and drowned out the other two. She told me it was ok to think the food smelled good, it was ok to want the food, but eating that was not on my plan and would not help me achieve my goals.

This really helped me deal with my urges and focus on the big picture instead of instant gratification, all without judgement.

I’m going to let my Inner Coach drive the bus from now on.

Give it a try. Can you distinguish your own IC, IA, and IPG? If these names don’t resonate with you, what would you name them?

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. Have a freaking amazing day!

Inner Coach

My focus for today is to develop a better relationship with my inner coach.

I will listen to her wisdom, guidance, and support. She knows where I’ve been and where I want to be now and in the future.

My inner coach knows there will be setbacks along with the successes. She knows that I’m worthy of the effort and that I’m capable of persevering. She will be my biggest cheerleader.

How are you developing your relationship with your inner coach?

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. Have a freaking fabulous day!

Feeling, Not Flattening

I knew that I used food to entertain myself with boredom. I learned that I also used food to “give me energy” when tired. But it never dawned on me that I was using food to flatten out my life.

I read my first book by Geneen Roth and I absolutely loved it. Women Food and God was so good.

I was using food to buffer, flatten, stifle, muffle, deaden, shield, absorb, numb. Whatever word resonates with you. Stress, overwhelm, anxious, frustration, sadness, loneliness, grief. All my negative emotions were answered with food.

Which of course doesn’t solve anything. This only created more negative emotions of shame, guilt, disgust, frustration, unworthiness. Sound familiar?

So now what? How to stop the cycle? I’ve been working on this still. Recognizing the emotion has been the most beneficial. Learning to feel first before reacting creates awareness. I journal everyday to get the thoughts out of my head. Seeing it written down helps me create this awareness. Realizing that these emotions are just feelings created by my thoughts. And that my thoughts are optional.

Feeling overwhelmed by all the things on my to-do list today. Overwhelm is created by thinking that I’ll never get it all done. It’s not fair that I am the one that has to do it all. I recognize that this is useless. I am the only one creating my to-do list. I am choosing to feel overwhelmed. So I made my coffee, grabbed my iPad, decided to feel productive, and decided to knock one thing off my list. Caught up on my email. Thought download completed. Blog post almost done.

What emotions are you avoiding? Are you willing to decide that your thoughts are optional? What are choosing to think instead?

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. Have a glorious day.

I’m in Control.

I’m reminded of this quote by Billy Cox today.

Went to bed later than usual and up earlier too. I know that when I don’t get between 7-8 hours of sleep I’m bitchier than usual and will often look at the pantry for comfort.

Putting on my big girl pantries this morning and reminding myself that 4 hours of sleep is just my circumstance and that my thoughts about this are completely up to me.

So I’m up. Drinking my coffee, getting ready to run to the store and going to knock some shit off my to do list.

My attitude and effort are totally up to me.

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. You are in control, go get it done!

Action is Required

I saw this yesterday on Pinterest and was reminded of a FB meme I saw. “It’s been 6 months since I’ve joined my gym and I’m still not seeing any progress. I’m going there tomorrow in person to see what’s really going on.” Cute, right? I laughed when I read it. This is what we do all the time though unfortunately.

Just because you read the book, listened to the podcast, watched the YouTube video, and bought the program doesn’t change anything. That is only passive action. Passive action doesn’t get you anything. Only by actually doing, by taking massive action, is where the magic happens. We must do.

We won’t get stronger until we actually lift the weights. We won’t quit eating junk until we actually eat the healthy meals. We won’t get our 7 to 8 hours of sleep until we actually put down the devices and turn off the Netflix. We won’t learn our negative patterns until we actually start journaling our thoughts and feelings.

What do you want to accomplish? Are you on the right path but not seeing results? Are you just sitting there not actually doing anything? Make the commitment to yourself to make one small change. You don’t have to everything today, but you do have to something.

What is the one thing you can do today to get you closer to your goal? I’m going now to take my dog for a walk.

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Until next time. Have a flipping amazing day!

Changing my Inner Dialogue

This one thing has been the hardest for me to change.

Who knew that I didn’t have to believe that inner negative bitch talk? Deciding to come from a place of compassion instead of hate has made this process so much easier.
I used to beat myself up for overeating. “You’re not good enough, you don’t deserve it, you’ll always be fat.” That was my inner dialogue.

Last night had a complete binge. Dark chocolate covered walnuts, potato chips, pecan rolls. Yum! Woke up feeling bloated and like total crap. Got on the scale and am up 2 lbs. But my new inner voice says “Could be worse, so what are we going to do today to get back on track?”

Change never comes from a place of contempt or loathing. Are you speaking kindly to yourself? What are the positive things you can focus on instead?

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

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Have an awesome day! Until next time.

Imperfect Success

“The idea behind imperfectionism is to not care so much about conditions or results, and care more about what you can do right now to move forward with your identity and your life.” Stephen Guise How to be an Imperfectionist

Powerful stuff right?

Any time we try something new, we set ourselves up for failure because we want the big, quick results yesterday. But learning to do something differently requires patience, practice and repetition. How many times did you fall off your first bicycle before learning to balance and ride it? How many times did you drive outside of the lines before learning to keep the car straight? How many posts and tweets did you screw up before learning how to navigate the app? We didn’t learn these things in one day, so why do we think we can change our relationship with food so quickly?

Patience, practice and repetition. Want to change your relationship with food? Patience, practice and repetition.Want to learn not to eat your way through the fridge and pantry? Patience, practice, and repetition. Want to learn not to eat just because you’re bored, tired, stressed or lonely? Patience, practice and repetition.

Do you want success or perfection? You can’t have both.

You have to know right from the start that you’re going to fuck up and that is ok. It’s expected. That’s part of learning something new. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you’ll never figure it out. It doesn’t mean you’ll never lose weight. It doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. It means you’re flipping human. It means that when you fuck up, you have the opportunity to learn how to make better choices next time. If you think you have to do everything perfectly, you’ll never lose the weight. If you don’t decide right now to be imperfect, you might as well not even start.

By deciding to be imperfect, you’re giving yourself the space and freedom to make the mistakes without beating yourself up. You’re giving yourself the chance to try again and do it better next time. You’re giving yourself the love and kindness you deserve.

“Your best chance to reach your big dreams is through small goals in quantity.” Stephen Guise.

You must set small realistic goals. If you start where you are at and make one change, what would it be? Drinking 8 oz of water in the morning before you reach for your coffee. No second helpings. Leaving two bites behind at dinner. No snacking while preparing dinner. These were the small changes I made that helped me lose my last 30 lbs. Doesn’t sound like much, right? But they worked. Start with one small realistic goal and do it over and over until it feels comfortable. Then when you feel ready, layer in another small realistic goal. Screwed up and went back for seconds? That’s ok. Next time you’ll have the awareness to be more mindful.

Are you willing? What’s the one thing you’re willing to do now imperfectly to get to your goals?

Leave a comment and like this page. Let us know what you’re working on. Are you feeling stuck? Maybe I can help.

You can click the Follow button to see more of me in your feed or you can opt in your email to get blog updates delivered to you. You can follow me on Facebook and Instagram. I put all my pics on Pinterest if you’d like to use them on your boards.

Have a freaking amazing day! Until next time.